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　　标题：15QualitiesYouNeedtoDevelopMentalToughness
　　source：inc丨byTRAVISBRADBERRY
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　　Weallreachcriticalpointsinourliveswhereourmentaltoughnessistested。Itmightbebecauseofatoxicfriendorcolleague，adeadendjob，orastrugglingrelationship。
　　Whateverthechallenge，youhavetobestrong，seethingsthroughanewlens，andtakedecisiveactionifyouwanttomovethroughitsuccessfully。
　　Itsoundseasy。Weallwantgoodfriends，goodjobs，andgoodrelationships。
　　Butitisnt。
　　Itshardtobementallytough，especiallywhenyoufeelstuck。Theabilitytobreakthemoldandtakeaboldnewdirectionrequiresthatextragrit，daring，andspunkthatonlythementallytoughestpeoplehave。
　　Itsfascinatinghowmentallytoughpeoplesetthemselvesapartfromthecrowd。Whereothersseeimpenetrablebarriers，theyseechallengestoovercome。
　　WhenThomasEdisonsfactoryburnedtothegroundin1914，destroyingoneofakindprototypesandcausing23millionindamage，Edisonsresponsewassimple：Thankgoodnessallourmistakeswereburnedup。Nowwecanstartfreshagain。
　　Edisonsreactionistheepitomeofmentaltoughnessseeingopportunityandtakingactionwhenthingslookbleak。
　　Therearehabitsyoucandeveloptoimproveyourmentaltoughness。Infact，thehallmarksofmentallytoughpeopleareactuallystrategiesthatyoucanbeginusingtoday。
　　1。Emotionalintelligence。
　　Emotionalintelligenceisthecornerstoneofmentaltoughness。Youcannotbementallytoughwithouttheabilitytofullyunderstandandtoleratestrongnegativeemotionsanddosomethingproductivewiththem。Momentsthattestyourmentaltoughnessareultimatelytestingyouremotionalintelligence（EQ）。
　　UnlikeyourIQ，whichisfixed，yourEQisaflexibleskillthatyoucanimprovewithunderstandingandeffort。Itsnowonderthat90percentoftopperformershavehighEQs，andthatpeoplewithhighEQsearn28，000moreannually（onaverage）thantheirlowEQcounterparts。
　　UnfortunatelyEQskillsareinshortsupply。TalentSmarthastestedmorethanamillionpeople，andwevefoundthatjust36percentoftheseareabletoaccuratelyidentifytheiremotionsastheyhappen。
　　2。Confidence。
　　Whetheryouthinkyoucan，orthinkyoucantyoureright。HenryFord
　　MentallytoughpeoplesubscribetoFordsnotionthatyourmentalityhasapowerfuleffectonyourabilitytosucceed。Thisnotionisntjustamotivationaltoolitsafact。ArecentstudyattheUniversityofMelbourneshowedthatconfidentpeoplewentontoearnhigherwagesandgetpromotedmorequicklythanothersdid。
　　Trueconfidenceasopposedtothefalseconfidencepeopleprojecttomasktheirinsecuritieshasalookallitsown。Mentallytoughpeoplehaveanupperhandoverthedoubtfulandtheskittishbecausetheirconfidenceinspiresothersandhelpsthemtomakethingshappen。
　　3。Theabilitytoneutralizetoxicpeople。
　　Dealingwithdifficultpeopleisfrustratingandexhaustingformost。Mentallytoughpeoplecontroltheirinteractionswithtoxicpeoplebykeepingtheirfeelingsincheck。Whentheyneedtoconfrontatoxicperson，theyapproachthesituationrationally。Theyidentifytheiremotionsanddontallowangerorfrustrationtofuelthechaos。Theyalsoconsiderthedifficultpersonsstandpointandareabletofindcommongroundandsolutionstoproblems。Evenwhenthingscompletelyderail，mentallytoughpeopleareabletotakethetoxicpersonwithagrainofsalttoavoidlettinghimorherbringthemdown。
　　4。Knowinghowtoembracechange。
　　Mentallytoughpeopleareflexibleandareconstantlyadapting。Theyknowthatfearofchangeisparalyzingandamajorthreattotheirsuccessandhappiness。Theylookforchangethatislurkingjustaroundthecorner，andtheyformaplanofactionshouldthesechangesoccur。
　　Onlywhenyouembracechangecanyoufindthegoodinit。Youneedtohaveanopenmindandopenarmsifyouregoingtorecognize，andcapitalizeon，theopportunitiesthatchangecreates。
　　Youreboundtofailwhenyoukeepdoingthesamethingsyoualwayshaveinthehopethatignoringchangewillmakeitgoaway。Afterall，thedefinitionofinsanityisdoingthesamethingoverandoveragainandexpectingadifferentresult。
　　5。Sayingno。
　　ResearchconductedattheUniversityofCaliforniainSanFranciscoshowedthatthemoredifficultyyouhavesayingno，themorelikelyyouaretoexperiencestress，burnout，andevendepression。Mentallytoughpeopleknowthatsayingnoishealthy，andtheyhavetheselfesteemandforesighttomaketheirnoesclear。
　　Whenitstimetosayno，mentallytoughpeopleavoidphrasessuchasIdontthinkIcanorImnotcertain。Theysaynowithconfidencebecausetheyknowthatsayingnotoanewcommitmenthonorstheirexistingcommitmentsandgivesthemtheopportunitytosuccessfullyfulfillthem。
　　Thementallytoughalsoknowhowtoexertselfcontrolbysayingnotothemselves。Theydelaygratificationandavoidimpulsiveactionthatcausesharm。
　　6。KnowingthatfearistheNo。1sourceofregret。
　　Mentallytoughpeopleknowthat，whenallissaidanddone，theywilllamentthechancestheydidnttakefarmorethantheywilltheirfailures。Dontbeafraidtotakerisks。
　　Ioftenhearpeoplesay，Whatstheworstthingthatcanhappentoyou？Willitkillyou？Yet，deathisnttheworstthingthatcanhappentoyou。Theworstthingthatcanhappentoyouisallowingyourselftodieinsidewhileyourestillalive。
　　Ittakesrefinedselfawarenesstowalkthistightropebetweendwellingandremembering。Dwellingtoolongonyourmistakesmakesyouanxiousandgunshy，whileforgettingaboutthemcompletelymakesyouboundtorepeatthem。Thekeytobalanceliesinyourabilitytotransformfailuresintonuggetsofimprovement。Thiscreatesthetendencytogetrightbackupeverytimeyoufalldown。
　　7。Embracingfailure
　　Mentallytoughpeopleembracefailurebecausetheyknowthattheroadtosuccessispavedwithit。Nooneeverexperiencedtruesuccesswithoutfirstembracingfailure。
　　Byrevealingwhenyoureonthewrongpath，yourmistakespavethewayforyoutosucceed。Thebiggestbreakthroughstypicallycomewhenyourefeelingthemostfrustratedandthemoststuck。Itsthisfrustrationthatforcesyoutothinkdifferently，tolookoutsidethebox，andtoseethesolutionthatyouvebeenmissing。
　　8。Withoutdwellingonmistakes。
　　Mentallytoughpeopleknowthatwhereyoufocusyourattentiondeterminesyouremotionalstate。Whenyoufixateontheproblemsthatyourefacing，youcreateandprolongnegativeemotionsandstress，whichhindersperformance。Whenyoufocusonactionstobetteryourselfandyourcircumstances，youcreateasenseofpersonalefficacy，whichproducespositiveemotionsandimprovesperformance。
　　Mentallytoughpeopledistancethemselvesfromtheirmistakes，buttheydosowithoutforgettingthem。Bykeepingtheirmistakesatasafedistance，yetstillhandyenoughtoreferto，theyareabletoadaptandadjustforfuturesuccess。
　　9。Refusingtoletanyonelimityourjoy
　　Whenyoursenseofpleasureandsatisfactionisderivedfromcomparingyourselfwithothers，youarenolongerthemasterofyourownhappiness。Whenmentallytoughpeoplefeelgoodaboutsomethingtheydo，theywontletanyonesopinionsoraccomplishmentstakethatawayfromthem。
　　Whileitsimpossibletoturnoffyourreactionstowhatothersthinkofyou，youdonthavetocompareyourselfwithothers，andyoucanalwaystakepeoplesopinionswithagrainofsalt。Mentallytoughpeopleknowthatregardlessofwhatpeoplethinkofthematanyparticularmoment，onethingiscertaintheyreneverasgoodorbadaspeoplesaytheyare。
　　10。Andnotlimitingthejoyofothers。
　　Mentallytoughpeopledontpassjudgmentonothersbecausetheyknowthateveryonehassomethingtooffer，andtheydontneedtotakeotherpeopledownanotchtofeelgoodaboutthemselves。
　　Comparingyourselfwithotherpeopleislimiting。Jealousyandresentmentsucktheliferightoutofyou；theyremassiveenergystealers。Mentallytoughpeopledontwastetimeorenergysizingpeopleupandworryingaboutwhetherornottheymeasureup。
　　Insteadofwastingyourenergyonjealousy，funnelthatenergyintoappreciation。Whenyoucelebratethesuccessofotherpeople，youbothbenefit。
　　11。Exercising。
　　AstudyconductedattheEasternOntarioResearchInstitutefoundthatpeoplewhoexercisedtwiceaweekfor10weeksfeltmoresocially，intellectually，andathleticallycompetent。Theyalsoratedtheirbodyimageandselfesteemhigher。Bestofall，ratherthanthephysicalchangesintheirbodiesbeingresponsiblefortheuptickinconfidence，whichiskeytomentaltoughness，itwastheimmediate，endorphinfueledpositivityfromexercisethatmadeallthedifference。
　　12。Gettingenoughsleep。
　　Itsdifficulttooverstatetheimportanceofsleeptoincreasingyourmentaltoughness。Whenyousleep，yourbrainremovestoxicproteins，whicharebyproductsofneuralactivitywhenyoureawake。Unfortunately，yourbraincanremovethemadequatelyonlywhileyoureasleep，sowhenyoudontgetenoughsleep，thetoxicproteinsremaininyourbraincells，wreakinghavocbyimpairingyourabilitytothinksomethingnoamountofcaffeinecanfix。
　　Mentallytoughpeopleknowthattheirselfcontrol，focus，andmemoryareallreducedwhentheydontgetenoughortherightkindofsleep，sotheymakequalitysleepatoppriority。
　　13。Limitingcaffeineintake。
　　Drinkingexcessiveamountsofcaffeinetriggersthereleaseofadrenaline，thesourceofthefightorflightresponse。Thefightorflightmechanismsidestepsrationalthinkinginfavorofafasterresponsetoensuresurvival。Thisisgreatwhenabearischasingyoubutnotsogreatwhenlifethrowsyouacurve。
　　Whencaffeineputsyourbrainandbodyintothishyperarousedstateofstress，youremotionsoverrunyourbehavior。Caffeineslonghalflifeensuresyoustaythiswayasittakesitssweettimeworkingitswayoutofyourbody。Mentallytoughpeopleknowthattoomuchcaffeineistrouble，andtheydontletitgetthebetterofthem。
　　14。Notwaitingforanapologytoforgive。
　　Mentallytoughpeopleknowthatlifegoesalotsmootheronceyouletgoofgrudgesandforgiveeventhosewhoneversaytheyresorry。Grudgesletnegativeeventsfromyourpastruintodayshappiness。Hateandangerareemotionalparasitesthatdestroyyourjoyinlife。
　　Thenegativeemotionsthatcomewithholdingontoagrudgecreateastressresponseinyourbody，andholdingontostresscanhavedevastatingconsequences（bothphysicallyandmentally）。Whenyouforgivesomeone，itdoesntcondonetheiractions；itsimplyfreesyoufrombeingtheireternalvictim。
　　15。Beingrelentlesslypositive。
　　Keepyoureyesonthenewsforanylengthoftime，andyoullseethatitsjustoneendlesscycleofwar，violentattacks，fragileeconomies，failingcompanies，andenvironmentaldisasters。Itseasytothinktheworldisheadeddownhillfast。
　　Andwhoknows？Maybeitis。Butmentallytoughpeopledontworryaboutthatbecausetheydontgetcaughtupinthingstheycantcontrol。Insteadoftryingtostartarevolutionovernight，theyfocustheirenergyondirectingthetwothingsthatarecompletelywithintheirpowertheirattentionandtheireffort。
　　Bringingitalltogether。
　　Mentaltoughnessisnotaninnatequalitybestoweduponaselectfew。Itcanbeachievedandenjoyed。
　　Whatelsemakespeoplementallytough？Howmanyofthese15qualitiesdescribeyou？PleaseshareyourthoughtsinthecommentssectionbelowasIlearnjustasmuchfromyouasyoudofromme。